Growth oriented student-teacher relationships

Rahima Ali writes for DOT : 
Now-a-days we see so many students to whom if we ask who is your favorite teacher most of them would answer no one! This is such a shock to me because when I ask the same question to myself and my classmates or relatives, they still do remember and talk about their favorite teacher. Even my husband (who was really naughty in his teenage and got punished by most of his teachers almost everyday) still recall his teachers time to time!
So this made me think why this generation is failing to build a positive and strong relationship with their teachers? Students spend 70% time of their per working day with their teachers, so this should be the strongest bond after their parents, then what’s going wrong? Let’s see how we can build a growth-oriented student-teacher relationship.
Building strong relationships with your students is key to letting them know that they’re valued members of the learning community in the classroom and school. The crux of the growth mindset is that students must believe in their own ability to achieve at high levels with grit and determination. But imagine how difficult it would be to believe that of yourself if you thought that your teacher didn’t feel the same way. If you expect your students to have faith in themselves to grow, they must sense that you genuinely, enthusiastically believe in them too.
The best way to forge deeper relationships with your students is to take a personal interest in their lives and well-being. Take time to get to know your students’ out-of-school interests. The more information you have about each of your students, the deeper you can build your relationships and better tailor a learning experience most beneficial to them. Likewise, sharing appropriate, personal information with your students- like how you struggled with Economics or what you plan to do over the weekend- will forge deeper mutual relationships. With my students I do discuss the recent movie that they have watched or the recent online games that they are obsessed about. Here I would mention one of my eighth grader Rayn who is so obsessed with Pubg game these days, he explained to me why he puts on a girl’s costume (skirt and a tank top) while playing Pubg, he thinks because of his costume guys don’t shoot him! And he is actually playing pretty well there!
In strong student-teacher relationships, students do not get defensive in the face of critical feedback but recognize it as part of the process of improvement and growth. In this kind of relationship, teacher’s set goals for their students and helped them set goals for themselves. As a teacher, you should keep an open dialogue about overcoming challenges and obstacles, and while grades should to us, the letter grade, in itself, should never hold more value than the progress it indicates.
This goes for social-emotional mistakes, as well. If a student makes a poor choice, acknowledging the choice and deal with it privately and professionally, but continue offering support, encouragement, and kindness. Never hold a grudge against a student.
Rahima Ali is a senior teacher, DEA Coordinator and Career guidance counselor at the American Standard International School