Benazir Elahee Munni
My birth order turns out to be one of the things i had no hand in yet I will be living with the tag all my life. During our busy, constant peekaboo with real life problems we forget about the traits that define us and were actually defined by our birth order. No matter if you are the eldest, middle, youngest or an only child, you have had thoughts of cursing the number you came in multiple times in your life. Before i started pondering on this topic, you can obviously imagine what triggered the process, yes, a thought that it might have been all very different if only I had been born before or after my siblings. So what is this long-held belief of victimizing yourself over your siblings, thinking poor me, I came the last/ the first/ in the middle and so my parents, my relatives (oh them relatives though), my siblings act the way they do. To name a few instances, you must remember the one time when your older brother/ sister was being cheeky and you were held as the rude one when you fought back and shouted, or maybe the times when your younger brother does not get questioned for hanging out late with friends but in your days, you were just at your reading table, not attending friend’s birthday party or maybe the time when you could not help relatives gushing about how cute the first and last of your siblings were born and they don’t seem to recall you significantly enough; by this time your mind plays recap of the “kuriyepawabaccha” theory your sister once told you. Even if you are the sole offspring of your parents’, you can remember your dad waiting with all his unattained desires to get them materialized by you. You start thinking would it really hurt them to increase the family? At least that way parents will have more people to distribute their goals evenly among, on another note, you will have actual people to talk to when you need someone who can understand your position.
Sibling relationship has received importance everywhere, it has stirred the attention of famous psychologists like Alfred Adler to Bollywood film makers (Ham Saath Saath Hain, Kappor and Sons; ring any bell people?). Alfred Adler, who is a contemporary of Sigmund Freud opined that birth order has impact on your psychology and personality. Behavioral pediatrician Dr. Tim Jordan explained that firstborns are likely to be scholarly, logical and ambitious because they were always under immense pressure to prove themselves. To attest to this theory, he names a few famous firstborns, such as Winston Churchill Or Oprah Winfrey and says almost 100% of the astronauts are firstborns. Middle children are peacemakers, social, good friends and a bit rebellious. They have big fishes like Martin Luther King Jr, Julia Roberts, John.F. Kennedy and Donald Trump in their list. The youngest are creative and uncomplicated owning big shots like Bill Gates and Mark Twain in their team. Only children are perfectionists and mature, he stated. So, your location in terms of birth may not be ultimately bad for you, in fact it defines you to some extent. Having siblings is fun and not only for the support and love but also for the differences you have among yourselves. But still, if it is already ‘too much fun’ for you and you want to keep the fun exclusive among siblings, there is a theory of author William Cane that I came across might help you out. He says, if you are a firstborn marry a youngest child or vice-versa but middle children can have their pick on any! The romantic capability is higher this way. Well, my mind is sufficiently distracted from my sibling-suffering knowing this and after finishing the article, I know the first thing I would do!
*looks for youngest born suitors*