Nusrat Jahan Progga
Yours truly is being very serious today. Why? Well, because her friend is an idiot who will not let this stupid guy go, and so now she is dedicating an entire article to her.
So yes, let’s get to the actual question- what exactly to do when you absolutely CANNOT get someone out of your head? Even more so, when that person is no good for you?
Talk less- Speaking less and just letting the time pass when we are dealing with bad situations or very reactive people is always a smart move. It allows us to calm ourselves down and handle things better.
Stop reacting right away- Sometimes we feel the need to react to certain troublesome situations or people right away and that causes us to constantly think about what to do next. We have to understand that not everything is as urgent as we like to believe they are.
Say “NO” to the blame game- People just can’t seem to stop it with this one. Going through everything that happened in the past, and assigning blame to everyone, including yourself, is never really helpful. Bad things will always happen and you can’t always do something to stop it. However, no one is entirely to blame for the end result.
Manage your younger- Nothing good ever happens when you are angry. You are at your worst when you are angry. You lose your ability to be thoughtful and take proper decisions. You can no longer be creative or insightful.
Stop trying to figure things out- Think about it, if others were trying to figure you out, what your motivations are, and what you plan on doing, how accurate would they be? Not very, I suppose. They probably would not have any idea whatsoever about what’s going on in your mind.
The same goes for you. Why should you bother trying to figure out other people by untying the twisted cobwebs of their brain, when you know that you will probably get them wrong?
Trust yourself a little less- This point might sound a little controversial, as every book or movie out there will tell you to trust yourself. However, you have to realize that you can be a little stupid sometimes. Especially with your thoughts. Do not believe everything you think. We experience our emotions, like anxiety, or fear, ardently in our bodies. Our emotions are much more physical than we think. Which leads us to the delusion that everything we think is true. We, in turn, forget that thoughts are just…well, thoughts!
Forgive for your own sake- “It is not necessary to be loyal to your suffering.” We are so loyal to our suffering, he says, “focusing on the trauma of ‘what happened to me.’ Yes, it happened. Yes, it was horrible. But is that what defines you?” says Buddhist psychologist Jack Kornfield. Forgiveness is not something we do because of the other person. We may forgive to lift a huge burden on our shoulders and move on from whatever it is that happened.
Call timeout- Did you know that it only takes 90 seconds to change from one mood to the other? And guess what? It includes anger too! Give yourself 90 seconds, take 15 deep breaths, and try not to think about that person or situation. After you’re done with that, you might want to pat yourself because you have broken the cycle!