Myisha Nawar
As kids, we know we were raised right. But when it comes to raising your own kids, your parents’ advice on parenting suddenly seems very outdated and terribly inaccurate. Methods that you were probably raised on now seem dangerous and horrendous for your child. There are some old-fashioned parenting tips that you should just avoid. I REPEAT, AVOID THESE TIPS!
Hit Them to Discipline Them:
Big no. This is neither permitted nor followed these days. There are other ways to discipline children, and none of them include physical or verbal abuse. Children will learn better if you set examples instead of hitting or scolding them. You send out wrong signals about it being okay to use physical force on people when something doesn’t happen right. You’re probably teaching your kid to be a bully if you do this.
Be Strict Always:
Be strict, but not always. If you are strict about bedtimes every day, it’s alright. But you can occasionally let them stay up late every other weekend. A little infrequent indulgence makes it known to children that you are not averse to something, but will allow it if done in limited amounts. It shows that you are not absolutely intolerant, and ensures dialog and communication in the future so they do not attempt anything behind your back.
Don’t Allow the Child to Get Angry at You:
Allowing your child to express emotions is not a bad thing, even if it is anger. Teach your child to constructively express emotion and direct it. If your child is angry at you for something, review why he is doing so, and review your own actions as well. Apologize if necessary. If (s)he is angry at a third party, make sure he receives help, good counsel, and resolution rather than ignoring or shouting it down, as old-fashioned parents are wont to do.
No Explanations Needed:
You’ve heard it a lot from your own parents: “Why? Because I said so that’s why.” This is not enough to satisfy the curiosity of your child. Explain why you have to take the measure, instead of bossing over the kid without a reason. Children are more likely to cooperate once you consider them on an equal footing and respect their intelligence instead of just laying down rules they don’t get. You don’t need to be mysterious in order to manage your child.
You know what’s best for Your Child:
No, you don’t always. You’re not God. At least when your child was young, you did know a little about what is best for her. But times may come when you’re completely stumped about what you should do, especially when your child hits adolescence or is past it. Middle-aged or young adult children usually learn to make decisions that are in their best interests, though you might not always agree with them.