Marilyn Thipthorpe
If you’re a parent, you certainly know all the sleepless night spent lying in your bed wondering if your baby’s ok cause face it no matter how old your child gets she/he will still be your baby. From the days of having, puke dripping all over you and trips from monsters to the day you see them enter their first job or the tears of joy they shed when they in turn become parents. It is all part and parcel of being a parent, through all this though the “terrible teens” as they call them present their own set of problems to parents. Here are a few tips for you on how to keep your cool while still keeping the peace.
1. Help your teenagers have a smooth transition to being on their own; this is a sort of second ‘cut the umbilical cord’ sort of thing. This is a time, when they are stretching their wings and testing the waters to see if they can go solo. So don’t go off the bend if they get antsy, don’t want to be in on every family night or try to avoid you at times. Try to be open with your teen, remember this is their most formative years so guide them in such a way that they will be responsible being.
2. Grow a thick skin; these are the years when you’ll be dealing with children who will talk back, sometimes in a rude way. They might ignore you totally or go against your wishes. Don’t take this too personally, it’s a stage and remember you went through it yourself. You might not have been such a rebel as the teens of this generation but bear with it, it will pass when your child reaches an understanding and be comfortable with who they are as individuals.
3. Keep an open communication with your teen. Don’t force them into anything they don’t want to do, ask them questions but don’t go lecturing them or telling them how it was so different with your own parents. Ask then why they don’t want to attend a particular event or if they have any plans before you schedule any for the family. Make them understand that you value their opinions and input in the family.
4. Show your teen that you care about them but also don’t show them that you’re frazzled by their behavior, instead take time off for yourself and don’t be afraid to state your logic or what you think about anything to you teen. This will show them that you value yourself as an individual and will not be stepped on without reason by anyone; they in turn will teach them a valuable lesson about how they should be treated.
5. Use language that is positive and adult; refer to times when you might not be together anymore and how they plan to set up their life then. What plans they might have or preferences. Get their 2 cents in on everything, so that you stay involved in their lives and plans, as well as have an idea of what’s going on in their heads and eventual turns this might take.
6. Water and grow whatever interests you might have in common, if its music try and listen to the same tracks, check out what hobbies they want to explore and try to get involved with it. This will show a new side of yours off to your teen, which will show that you’re interested in their lives and enriching it , it can even turn out to be a case of ‘the more the merrier’ if you include your teens friends as well.
Trust me, keep your cool listen and above all don’t judge your child and love him/her and you will be blessed with a great young adult about to blossom into an even better human being.