Tarannum Sattar
Relationship Status: Single
This line is so common in our lives that we all know what it is about by the sight of it. Be that in a resume or an online dating profile or just another social media, especially Facebook.
As for me, the case has always been eerie. I mean it’s not that I never held love but it was love that couldn’t hold me for long. So, I eventually learnt to love my work and designed my life the way it keeps me all smiles.
As for others, I am single is probably the most loved and the most hated phrase in a language. Reasons are galore.
Single always means ready to mingle.
No? Why declare publicly then? Isn’t that an advertisement or an invitation to the ants to approach the sugar? It’s not a bad thing as long as you want somebody’s secured company but then again, being single is also cool.
Here’s why: When single, you can be all about yourself. You can pamper yourself or go to spa with your girlfriends. You can eat out alone or better still, take yourself to a movie once in a while. But all these make sense as long as you are not lonely. That’s just plain sad.
For me, being single worked only when I found the perspective which kept me going. The perk is that I am “independent”, a prominent word to be remembered and focused on by women in the world of patriarchy, provided of course, you have the scope of doing what you want. If you are a woman and you are single it is a must that you see and understand and respect the positivity of it.
If you are a single teen, you certainly don’t have any peer pressure and you can ace in your exams. If you are a single working woman, sounds very cliché, but you can buy yourself all the gifts you want. If you are a single mother, your life is already filled with the love of the little ones (for those who are lucky). What matters at the end of the day is perspective through which we decide the way we call ourselves single.
Back to me, my single days have been long and I have personally benefitted from it in a lot of aspects. To top it off, I could work at will and decide my own destinations. I chose to become a workaholic and the life suited me. I chose to build a career and meet new people and make my own stories but not once did I have to regret my decisions. Being single had me face the many faces I, otherwise, would have never known.
But like everything else that is made up of good and bad, being single comes with its own cost. At one point of time when you want to settle down or have to settle down due to the social norms, it becomes more than difficult to adjust to a life where someone is constantly breathing over your neck. The drawbacks could be altering your decisions, amending your thought process or even worse, trying to mess with your fashion sense. (That’s a serious thing for a woman)
To put a climax to this, I’d like to add my piece of mind here:
Nothing is wrong nor right, it’s only opinion.
What is good to me might be bad to others. Being in a relationship or being married might be the normal thing but being single isn’t abnormal. Just because someone is unconventional doesn’t mean they are crazy. Times change, so do people. And change should be the theme of life.
This message goes to all the single ladies being put to shame:
This is the women’s month. Do not shy away by what others are trying to show you. Manipulate, don’t let others do that to you. Don’t let anybody scare you saying you need a man to walk down the street alone. We don’t need protection, we need respect.
Writer is a poet and feminist journalist