Fabia Shahzadi
Fabia is reluctant yet brilliant writer who likes to take on any challenges thrown at her. She is too sweet to be true and we believe she has some deep secret which makes her that way!
“Maybe next time you could at least try to be slightly more cautious when circling a revolving door”, I said a bit aggressively to the person who made me drop all my paper works while we both got entangled in the revolving door. As I struggled to gather all the loose sheets scattered on the tiled office floor, the stranger rather than helping me out, initiated a conversation which basically consisted of information concerning how I can be more careful next time I am near a revolving door. Somewhat annoyed, I looked up with a pretentious smile on my face to politely ask him to ‘stfu’ when I saw a face not only known to many but rather craved my almost everyone these days; Google!
Standing right there in front of me was ‘The Google’; the leading search engine which is extensively used by the entire world. Along with his immense, inbuilt information tank, his tanned skin tone, broad and well-built shoulders and his arrestingly intricate sharp edged facial features are just some of the many assets that make him so magnetic. I was skeptical whether it was the perfect angle of sunlight on his face or his casual everyday charm that made him look so attractive this particular morning. I have always wondered if I could cut myself when he smiled; I mean the uplift of his cheek bones were so well defined and piercing! His ever-so-popular Mohawk looked no less than perfect either. It was almost as if he googled himself and chose the finest features to construct him. Google can not only impress you by his captivating looks and his out loud, prompt reflexes to ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING but can also inject humor in a conversation.
Jumping back to my story, where was I again? I met Google, right!
Utterly shocked after the sudden upsurge of adrenaline rush, I came to a loss of words. His half arched smirk confirmed me this was not the first time someone was dumbfounded seeing him (well obviously, he is GOOGLE!). I felt as if he could already read my apparent, mentally instability. I suddenly became that gawky teenager, floundering what to say next; and before I knew it, anxiety completely engulfed me. I felt the urge to say something but my body had already undergone a complete state of paralysis. Mesmerized by his presence and awed by his perfect face, I finally spoke the untapped, forbidden words, “I’m feeling lucky”
After a good laugh, he replied in the most distinctive voice, “I’m sure you are, Fabia Shahzadi”. Engaging my inquisitive nature and my logical reasoning in a mental combat, I finally decided to completely ignore the ‘how do you know my name?’ question because let’s face it, I was sure by then he probably knew my name, address, blood group, passport number, my deficit bank balance, the number of likes in my last night’s post and even probably my favorite pair of lingerie (the brown laced ones); basically he knows me more than I know myself and he is the exact opposite of Jon Snow (You know everything Google *in Ygritte’s husky voice*)
Trying to keep my excitement to a subtle level, I calmed myself down for then next part of my question (I was nervously biting my hair and fidgeting). Wanting to be a bit diplomatic with my next question, I proceeded blurting out “How to react …” when he interrupted me midway suggesting “… in facebook posts”. Dissing his recommendation, I continued “… When” and he barged in again, adding, “When he proposes”. My heart leaped and skipped a few beats before realizing it was just a mere proposition and not an indirect hint of Google’s love proposal to me (which although was very much possible, just saying! *wink*). Finally, I let go of my predetermined question in one breath, “How to react when your meeting Google?”
Expecting a series of reply which would initiate with a smile and words like “Aww so sweet of you Fabia”, all he came up with is “Did you mean ‘How to react when YOU ARE meeting Google?’. Thoroughly embarrassed with my incorrect deliverance and the whole ‘first impression gone wrong’ scenario, I gentle pulled up a dumb, ‘I am such a loser’ smile and added “Sure, I mean anything you want me to mean’ (My flirting skills have the power to make an atheist turn to God for help; just a friendly heads up) After my impeccable attempt to make Google fall in love with me, it is weird how he took 0.58 seconds to come up with results which basically consisted of nothing that came to my use.
While his voice was dimly playing in the background, the thought of me being late for my presentation hit me like a big, red fire truck. Intervening his insignificant provision of information and trying to talk as minimum as possible (especially after the embarrassing occurrence), I moved my hand forward in order to get a touch of his natural aura. Not refuting my approach, he generously shook his hand with me (which in return shook and twisted and ripped apart my heart out of euphoria). Before moving walking past him for the final time, I mentioned a ‘thank you’ to which he took out his nexus 6p and displayed a ‘you are welcome’ image.
Googling anything onwards gave me a ticklish feeling that Google was judging my searches. Any ‘did you mean’ reincarnated the embarrassing memory which I had buried deep inside my awfully miniature sized brain. Sometimes Google’s notifications gave me hope that maybe he sent me a text to know how things were (which obviously never happened *sigh*). The ecstatic feeling of meeting Google lasted the next few days. Although I screwed up big time but it’s true, I genuinely felt lucky!