Daily Our Time is presenting below two case studies of sexual abuse of two boys, both are 9 years of age. The perpetrator in the first incident was an influential person of a village who misused his position and power for committing this crime and in the second incident, the abuser was female and a family member.
Case Study: Rural Boy Tipu
Age When Abused: 9 Years
Background: Tipu’s family is very poor. Their village has a population of 4,000 with a literacy rate of 20%. Most of the villagers are involved in agriculture. There is only one government primary school. Tipu is too poor to go to school. The floods of 1995 which destroyed the standing Aman crops has further impoverished the family. Tipu helps his father in the field during the day. At night he looks after a general store/shop in the village. He earns Tk. 250/= per month for doing this job which is a big help to the family.
Personal experience: The incident of abuse occurred this way. One night around, 9 p.m., Moslem (35), a resident of Tipu’s village came to the shop and asked for a paan (betel leaf.) Tipu gave the paan but Moslem lingered on and after taking the betel-leaf, not proceeding towards his own home. Finally he said, “I will not go home tonight. I might as well stay here.”
So, Tipu made arrangements for Moslem to sleep in the shop along with him. Soon afterwards, Tipu was fell asleep. But he suddenly awoke when he realized that Moslem was fondling his (Tipu’s) genitalia. Tipu, out of shame and anger, brushed said Moslem’s hand but Moslem started fondling him again despite Tipu’s protest. In fact Tipu’s refusal made Moslem very angry. He threatened Tipu saying, “If you don’t have sex with me, I will ensure that you lose hour job. I will accuse you as a thief in the salish they will fine you Tk. 5000/=. You know full well that the owner of this shop is my friend. So you might as well be quiet and do what I want you to do”.
Tipu was fully aware that Moslem was a very influential man and so he felt that he had no option but to submit to Moslem’s will. After the episode was over, Moslem again warned Tipu that no one should know of the incident or else there would be dire consequences in store for him. 4 Days later, Moslem again came late in the night and asked for a cigarette. Tipu gave him the cigarette through the shop window but did not open the door. Moslem was furious but ultimately went away. From then on Moslem did not bother Tipu as long as he worked in the shop.
The day when Moslem sexually abused Tipu, he was in a state of shock. Moslem’s threats, particularly that of the Tk. 5000/- fine by the salish, was what made Tipu agree that night. Tipu could not afford to take the threat lightly since Moslem was also a village matbar and decided many cases n the village court.
Observations: Tipu is contemptuous of Moslem but also afraid of him. Tipu requested continuously that the affair be kept a secret from him. One the first day Tipu spoke only for an hour. Tipu was given a feedback on child molestation and the punishment it carries for the perpetrator. Tipu was quite surprised. He didn’t know that such a thing was possible.
Case Study: Rural Boy Khokon
Age When Abused: 9 Years
Background: Khokon’s village has population of 4,000 and the literacy rate is 20%. The primary school in the village is in a bad shape so he walks 9 miles to a school in the adjoining village. He studies in Class IV.
Personal experience: One of his uncles works in Chittagong. In 1995 the uncle came to the village to settle some land dispute. He was accompanied by his daughter. Bina aged 16 years. Bina was always friendly towards Khairul and give him a lot of gifts. On this visit she had brought a shirt for him. He obviously was delighted.
One day Bina asked Khairul to accompany her to the firewood shed. As he was very fond of Bina, he naturally followed her inside. Bina had also told him, “Come with me and I will show you something”, which made him curious. The boy, in his ignorance asked her what was so interesting but instead of answering his question, she went in. Once inside the shed, Bina asked him to keep quiet. Then, Bina embraced him and started kissing him.
Since Bian was very fond of him, the boy thought that this was his sister’s way of showing her affection towards him. But the pattern of fondling changed and at this he became seared. She asked him to hold his breasts and fondle him. Khairul by this time was a bit angry and protested loudly. At this point Bina gave him a ten taka note. Having got the money he also quited down for the time being. “I will take you for a walk. That will be fun,” she further promised. Although the boy was not keen to continue the session, the money changed his mind.
Next, Bina started fondling the boy again and put his hands on her breast. She asked him to fondle her genitals also. The boy was puzzled and insisted on getting out of the shed. He was offered another Tk. 10 as a pacifier which again worked. Then, Bina stripped the boy and then herself as well. Despite the boy’s protests the young girl carried on and got him to do what she wished which was trying to have penetrative sex. She also asked the boy to hold her tight, the way she was holding him. “Dear cousin, please do as I ask and hold me tight and I will give you ten take more.” Both being naked, she also started to rub herself against him. But the boy wasn’t as interested as the girl wanted her to be and kept saying he wished to go home. At one point he started to cry. At this the girl got angry and slapped him. This made the boy cry even more loudly. Seeing it wasn’t leading further, the girl dressed the boy, put on her clothes, and left the place. He left the place crying.
“The boy went back home and told his mother that Bina, his cousin had slapped him. The boy’s mother was surprised at the incident and couldn’t understand why Bina should do so. “You must have done something naughty so she slapped you” Although the boy kept protesting that he hadn’t done anything; his mother didn’t believe his innocence. He became very mad at this and finding his mother still not ready to believe his case, he retold her entire episode including referring to the sexual acts in the shed.
Hearing the experience of her son, the mother advised the boy to keep quiet about the whole affair. She even said that if he told anybody else about the incident she would beat him. Later, she took Bina aside and scolded her. She also told Bina to stay away from Khairul. But she didn’t tell the boy’s father about this. Three days later Bina went home with her father.
Observations: The investigator talked to Khairul for two days. On the second day he recounted the incident. Khairul talked of his experience after being appraised of child rights etc, as well as telling him of an incident that the Investigator had been subjected to molestation too. This created a rapport and he told the incident in its entirety. The investigator reports that one could feel that by retelling his experience of abuse he was feeling very relaxed. The mother had felt that if the father came to know, he would start screaming and create a scene and the people next door would come to know. These people were their clean enemies and knowledge of the incident would have brought shame to her family. Bina was also a paternal cousin which might create complications within the family.
From the Case Study Based Report, “NON-COMMERCIAL SEXUAL ABUSE OF CHILDREN IN BANGLADESH” by Breaking The Silence Group, dated 30 March 1997.