Samiul Bashar Samin
The pressure of getting married is something that has been marring people no matter where they are in the world. But, far from the nagging parents of the West lie the persistent Asian ones that expect no less than a wedding as soon as you hit the legal age.
Let’s just take China for example. You know the kind of intense pressure a young adult in China has to face when you realize that they refer to unmarried women over the age of 25 as “the leftover women”. If that does not shatter your self- esteem into a zillion tiny bits, just wait till you realize that this isn’t just something people call you behind your back but you have to face that ridicule every day. You’re told to respect your parents’ wishes and find a match as early as possible, which seems pretty normal (by Asian standards), until you get to know about China’s marriage markets.
These are literal markets where parents go and hang profiles of their kids in order to attract complete strangers to be interested in them. These profiles contain information like age, income and qualifications. It’s almost like they were trying to sell you to some random person. He/ She could be Charles Manson for all you know. Now that you think about it, aren’t matrimonial websites absolutely the same thing?
In an age where everyone wants to be successful as an individual sense, I doubt there is any room for thought processes that deem unmarried women as incomplete. This is an era where everything and everyone moves at the speed of light and what we all need is an emotional connection with someone else. Choosing someone with whom you can make said emotional connection through a profile is probably the most far-fetched idea that humankind has ever pitched.
I understand why parents are in dismay about this entire issue. The idea that your child may have to spend the rest of their lives alone when you’re not there for them anymore must produce a crushing feeling in them. I think it’s necessary for them to understand that one needs to find individual peace before he/she can even think about attaining serenity in sharing life and who better to help them understand than their children. Tell them that you want to be independent, tell them you want to be successful and you must find your identity before you can merge with another. Tell them before you crumble under pressure.