Sheikh Mohammad Fahim
There are a few types of people you would rather not meet. Narcissists only come second to Psychopaths on that list. And like Psychopaths, Narcissists possess some disturbing attributes.
They are extremely egotistic and carry themselves with a grandiose sense of self-importance. Not to be mistaken for self-love or self-respect which many teens are suffering for the lack of.
Narcissists dream big and that is all they do, actually. They fantasize about their confirmed success, expect special treatment, enjoy manipulating others, lack empathy and are often haunted by the green monster that is jealousy. Only brilliance that rivals God’s is at their disposal, or so they believe. And like God, they feel that they have a right to be proud and they end up with nothing but false dreams and arrogance.
However, there is a point that must be noted. You might think you know a narcissist but you’d be wrong in most cases. Certain narcissistic demons exist in all of us, only a person who feeds these demons can truly become a narcissist. The process is gradual and invisible. The worst thing about becoming a narcissist is that you never realize you are one, you just realize that you have these abilities to manipulate and trick people, to starve out anxiety and self-loath and to disguise yourself as someone who is normal and yet exceptional.
Despite how smart narcissists are, they tend to have a pattern of behavior that makes it blatantly obvious, to the ones who are looking, that they are possessed with the demons of narcissism. A series of things that narcissists will find themselves doing without even thinking and a few things they find great pleasure in doing.
1. Making themselves feel wanted.
Perhaps one of the main tactics that a narcissist uses is to make you think that you need them. This is done by instilling a sense of insecurity and fear into you, making you question your choices, yourself, your family, friends and your relationship. Narcissists bask in the power they have over you, they lust for the feeling of having power over someone else, being able to make them do what they want. The God Complex plays its part and the narcissist feels like he is nothing less than God himself, he actually thinks he’s greater as he accomplished this feat with the limited abilities that he has while God has limitless power.
2. Answering all your questions while not answering any
This is my personal favorite. Narcissists have mastered the art of deflection and manipulation and it comes into play when they are confronted with a question that requires a straight answer. They will still somehow find a way to deflect it. The best part is that they don’t have to necessarily lie, given they are a master manipulator, they just have to tell half truths and true lies. A sense of forbidden pride rushes through their body when they accomplish lying to someone without actually uttering a single lie.
3. They listen to reply, never to listen.
As a narcissist, it falls to you to always be right, regardless of what the facts say. When in an argument, a narcissist will listen to what you have to say, only so that they can counter your points and use them against you. Mostly they will try to find a way to make every conversation about them, to express their brilliance and intelligence. Using words that you spoke against you, they will starve out any response you might have and nothing short of winning an argument will ever give them satisfaction.
4. Personal benefit over anything else
Finding a narcissist to do something out of love or selflessness is a rare sight indeed. Everything they do is centered around the fact that the deed will somehow benefit them right now or at a later date. The benefit might be direct or indirect but as long as it is coming back to them, they are perfectly fine with that. Any favor asked from a narcissist will leave them thinking, not about how to help you with the favor, but how they can benefit from it. Sometimes they will seem to do you favors just because you’re their friend but rest assured they intend to use the bond they have built with you for their own gains at a later date.
5. Apologies never come easy
This is due to the raw fact in the narcissist’s mind that he/she is not wrong. Remember, narcissists or atleast proper narcissists never enter an argument without the foresight of victory in their eyes. To them, they will always win an argument because they are infinitely smarter than their opponent. However, when they actually do lose an argument, they will not acknowledge the fact that they lost, only recognize that a stalemate occurred, not a victory for the opposing party. If by some miracle they acknowledge the fact that they are wrong, be wary, they might just be apologizing to get you off their backs about winning the argument or to establish a sense of trust with you as even they know that they don’t normally apologize. They might make you feel special by apologizing to you so that your guard is down as they try further to manipulate you.
Remember something while dealing with narcissists, don’t give them too much credit and don’t give them too less. You might think that you can outwit them but perhaps the thought of that will make you blind to the web they have spun around you as they wait for the perfect time to strike. Give them enough credit to acknowledge that they are probably smarter than you, use the fact, that they think that too, against them.