Md. Taqi Yasir
“Love Happens” isn’t just a illusion but it’s also the general mindset of people on the topic of love. Love, more often than not, is perceived as something that will magically and fatefully appear once you meet the right person, say the right things, and share the same feelings. However, how do you find the elusive Mr/Mrs. Right One? How do you know what to say? And how do you know about the feelings you share?
An answer might just be available in a social experiment devised and first conducted by American psychology professor and researcher Arthur Aron and his associates in 1997. At the very base of his experiment, he had two single strangers sit across one another, ask 36 progressively personal questions and then look into each other’s eyes for exactly four minutes. In the many times this experiment has been carried out, it has proven to accelerate a sense of closeness between two people. The questions start off light, the first being an innocent, “Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?” By question 13 though, the participants begin probing into the lives of each other, “If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?” The questions slowly start delving into both their fondest as well as their darkest memories. Towards the end, some of the “questions” initiate verbal appreciation of each other, such as no. 28, “Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.”
As the first pair, we have Debdas and Parbati.
Deb came in to participate, hoping for days he might just find love, while Parbati arrived on short notice just hours beforehand. Both started with an open mind and hit it off quite well. Initially, Parbati was under the impression that it would be awkward but later went on to say “as we started talking, we found out that we have way too much in common, and we even think a lot like each other.” They even diverged from the long list of questions, and ended up wanting to know even more. Both of them even found reasons to stay in touch.