Myisha Nawar
Even though the ridiculous and misogynistic practice of slut-shaming is starting to become less and less socially acceptable these days, it is still far from extinction. Slut-shaming doesn’t always come from men; many women slut-shame each other, often without even noticing that they are doing it. But while even the most judgmental of slut-shamers can usually recognize when they’re purposely slut-shaming-and while most women are aware when they’re obviously slut-shamed themselves-there are lots of ways many of us are regularly slut shamed and we ay not even notice!
Slut shaming is, at its core, more than being judgmental about women’s specific sexual choices. It is really about policing women and their bodies . From an early age, us girls are constantly told what is or isn’t “proper” for them to wear, say or do. We are generally lead to believe that this ever present monitoring of our behavior and our bodies come from a place of concern of our safety and well being, rather than seeing it for what it really is: a way to control our bodies an keep us from feeling capable of making our own decisions about them. So yeah, subtle slut shaming is definitely sneaking into our lives. How? Read on.
“Whose attention are you trying to get?” Excuse me? If anyone ever insinuated that you’re only getting dressed up in order to draw men’s glances to your body, they were slut shaming you. And they probably didn’t even know it. The concept that women can’t possibly doll up for themselves alone, or for other women (yeah girls definitely dress for other girls) implies that female bodies exist, first and foremost, for male consumption. It’s so standard in our society for strangers to feel justified in commenting on what women are wearing that it’s still sickeningly common for rape victims to be charged about what they were wearing during the assault. So while it my seem innocent for someone to ask who you’re dressing sexy for, it’s usually really not.
“You’re wearing too much makeup.” Women just can’t seem win on the whole makeup front. If you go makeup-free, people will criticize you, saying you are lazy and less attractive. However, the minute you cross the arbitrary line that separates “acceptable” makeup from “heavy” makeup, you will often get slut-shamed for it.Once again this springs from the bull sh*t social assumption that women make decisions about their appearance for men, not themselves. If you were ever exposed to crap about wearing a ton of makeup-even if it was cloaked in jeweled language about “helping” you-you, honey, were being slut shamed.
“Why can’t you act more ladylike?” I don’t think any of our grandmas knew they were slut shaming us the zillion times they told us to “act like a lady”. Whether it’s being said about how you dress, how you date, how you talk, how you walk, how you sit or really anything you do at all, people should not be telling you to ACT MORE LADYLIKE! Since what qualifies as ‘ladylike’ is often actually about policing women and their bodies, it’s not just cute old-fashioned thinking; IT’S ACTUALLY JUST GOOD OLD-FASHIONED SLUT SHAMING!