Zobaida Akhter, Ph.D

Suddenly a phone call came, a lady phoned me she is one of my nearest and dearest one. As usual we exchange hello to each other but I felt she was in hurry to give me some news, I asked her, did anything happen? She replied with caution in a very low voice, do you know the lady died, she was the first wife of her cousin brother. My thought process stopped for a while, I was asking myself whether I am too shocked or relieved. My inner voice said both. I whispered May Allah rest her in peace at the same time I felt that she got relief from unbearable pain of body and mind. This is the story of backstage.
The screen of the stage opened, real tragedy drama started.
The lady died had a fair complexion in her young age, always had a smile on her lips, half veil over the head. Always busy with household works of in-laws house. Even she helped her sister-in-laws to rear and bears their children. Sometimes it seemed to me her happiness, desire and dream is merged within her in-laws family. No rest, no complain, all the aged female relatives says, wow! Such a nice daughter-in-law. Some mother-in–law compared her with their own daughter in law and used to say, be like her, though she was not highly educated but highly educated daughter-in-law failed in competition with her. She was like a Ma Durga. 4 years back suddenly I got news, husband of that lady again married, I was surprised and shocked, I was asking continuously why and why?
Answer came in a very normal way, she was diagnosed Parkinson disease, she cannot move, she cannot do any work, who will take care of our son(child), he was 62 years . Who will cook for him and who will serve his food? I told there are many people in your join family to take care of your 62 years child, the aged well- wisher ladies said together, male person needs woman to take care of him . The relatives accused the lady that she never served her husband hot food and always neglected him. I said well if it was the situation then why her husband did not marry in his young age, why after diagnosed Parkinson disease? No answer came and I know they have nothing to say to me. But my answer was ready, what is the value of this disable wife; she was not in a position to serve her lord and his family. She was a person with extrinsic value, without her deed she is useless and became a broken toy. God is great; He relieved her from unbearable pain of body and endless pain to see her husband with other lady. This is the fate of a woman, so long you can serve you are something but when cannot you are nothing. My question to the society what the new generation will learn from these aged ladies those who appreciated their daughter-in-laws when she was active and regret her when she was not active. Now they are very happy with their new daughter-in –law, because she is earning and she is excellent. When I was writing the story my two eyes were floating with tears, eyesight became hazy, don’t know whether I am writing in a consistent manner or not. If not forgive me for my emotional error because I am also a woman.

Zobaida Akhter, Ph.D
Inclusive Education &Gender Consultant, Ministry of Education ,Project
Visiting Fellow, University of Malaya, Kuala Lumpur
Academics& Researcher
Email:[email protected]