Daily Our Time is presenting below two case studies of sexual abuse of two boys, one aged 10 years and the other is of 9 years old. Both of them are from rural areas. In both the incidents, the perpetrator is same and the incidents describe how the victims have been abused by a so called “noshto meye”, a women of loose character.
Case Study: Rural boy Bakul
Age when abused: 10 Years
Background: Bakul is a student of class IV. They are two brothers and one sister with Bakul being the eldest. Shahida, (29 years old) lives next door. She was married when she was 20 years old. While married, she developed an illicit relationship with her husband’s nephew. As a consequence, her husband divorced her. Since her divorce, Shahida has been living in her father’s house. Shahida’s brother tried to get her married but have failed. She has an infection in her nose which emits a very foul small. This causes all her proposals to fall through. Shahida’s brother has set up a small shop in their own courtyard for her. Meanwhile, she has been having sexual relationships with the village boys. Shahid uses the shop as a place to entice young ones into sexual relationships with her.
We were informed by a villager-Hamid-that before her marriage; he and his friend both had sexual encounters with her. Like in all villages, this is only partly a secret and for all her past put together, Shahida has been branded as a women of loose character, a seriously noshto meye, Her victim in this case was Bakul, a ten year old boy.
Personal experience: Bakul was always being pampered by Shahida and she in turn would use him to keep her shop tidy. In February, 1995, Bakul was given chocolates by Shahida which made the boy very happy. She also added that, “Today I am going to show you how to behave with a wife when get you married. Do you know how to behave with a wife?”
Bakul replied in the negative and Shahida assured him that she would do all the coaching. Bakul did not take seriously what Shahid was saying because Shahide was joking with him. But after some time of his arrival, Shahida closed the door of her shop. Then she lay down on a bed and took bake on her top promising more chocolates all the time. Shahida then made Bakul fondle her breasts and genitals. Soon after this she stripped Bakul of his clothes and she too stripped herself and began foreplay including genital manipulation.
Although Bakul says she didn’t enjoy this, the lure of candies helped Bakul to continue. The encounter ended after Shahida was satisfied. She gave Bakul the full box of chocolates and told him to take as many as he wanted. Bakul was very happy. Shahida cautioned Bakul that he was not to disclose to anyone the “husband and wife” game they had played. She further enticed him by saying that anytime he wanted to have chocolates, he could come to her. After cuddling and kissing Bakul some more, she let him go. Shahida used Bakul thrice. Shahida would make sure that nobody would be in the house or had gone for a bath before having sex with Bakul.
Bakul says that after his initial hesitation, he would participate in these encounters because he knew that it would let him get chocolates. Furthermore, there was less suspicious because Shahida was much older and had seen held Bakul when he was an infant. There was less suspicious also because he would come to their house to play and then after all, they were cousins. This arrangement suited Shahida as well as Bakul.
Observations: Bakul came out with his story after 2 days of persuasion. The sexual relationship is still on and Bakul has no regrets about it. He has also turned into a candy and snacks freak, a habit which Shahida regularly sustains.
Case Study : Rural boy Karim
Age when abused: 9 Years
Background : The perpetrator of sexual abuse is a woman called Shahida (29). She has sexual relationship with other young boys including one mentioned in another case study, that of Bakul.
Experience: One day Karim wanted to buy a balloon which his mother refused. Karim threw a fit at this and began to cry. Just then Shahida, the shopowner had come to their house to change a Tk. 100/= note. Seeing Karim’s tears, she told him to follow her to the shop. When she reached the shop, she gave him a baloon. Karim was very happy. Then she asked him. Will you do what I ask you to?” A very happy Karim said, “Yes”.
So Shahida took Karim inside and made him sit opposite her. Then she lifted her clothes and made the boy masturbate her. As the balloon was all that mattered to Karim, he did as he was told. Shahida, however told him not to mention the incident, if he wanted more red balloons.
The gift of 2 balloons, didn’t last long and Karim was back to Shahida for more. That day she was busy with customers and told him to come back later. Karim felt a bit disappointed but returned to the shop hoping to get the balloons. Seeing him Shahida closed her shop and repeated the same sexual encounter ploy. She again gave him the balloons. The balloons mattered most to Karim and what he had to do to get them, did not matter. The relationship goes on.
Karim’s initial hesitancy is not present anymore and the arrangement of sex for balloon is still on. Karim has not disclosed this association with Shahida to anyone, which suits both parties.
Observations: Four days were required to collect the information from Karim. Shahida’s history has been discussed in an earlier case-study. Obviously, she can manage to getaway and she knows that. Her victims are growing up learning that toys and candy in return for sex is possible with a little bit of caution on the way to make it safe although both her sex partners mentioned are under ten years of age.
From the Case Study Based Report, “NON-COMMERCIAL SEXUAL ABUSE OF CHILDREN IN BANGLADESH” by Breaking The Silence Group, dated 30 March 1997.